A new disease has been identified:
Acquired
Feline Obsessive Syndrome (AFOS)
At first, AFOS
was originally considered to be psychological in nature, but after
two young researchers suddenly decided to become show breeders,
scientists decided that AFOS was indeed an infectious agent.
Epidemiologists have identified three stages of this disease
and the typical symptoms.
They are: You have the early
symptoms (Stage I) if:
- You think
that any show within 300 miles is nearby.
- You begin
to enjoy getting up at 5 a.m. in the morning to birth kittens
and feed cats.
- It is fun
to spend several hours a day grooming longhairs.
- You think
you're being frugal if you spend less than $3,000 a year on
shows.
- You can't
remember what it was like to have just one cat.
(Stage II)You
definitely have acquired the disease if:
- Your most
important factor when buying a car is how many carriers you
can fit in it.
- When you
look for a house, the first thing you think of is how many cats
you can pen on the property.
- Your cat
food bill is higher than your family's.
- You spend
as much on veterinarians as on doctors.
- You have
no money because of showing cats.
- You have
more pictures of the cats than of your family.
- Your idea
of a fun vacation is to hit a show circuit.
- Most of
your conversations revolve around the cats.
You are
a terminal case (Stage III) if:
- You wake
up in the morning and find out that you put the kids in the
pens and the cats in the beds last night.
- You know
each cat's name and pedigree, but can't figure out who that
stranger in the house is; it turns out to be your spouse.
- Your neighbors
keep insisting that those kids running around your house bothering
the cats are yours.
- You cash
in the kid's college trust fund to campaign the cats.
- You've been
on the road showing cats so long that you can't remember where
you live.
- Your family
tells you "It's either the cats or us"; you choose
the cats.
- You trade
your wedding ring in for a ring that has the profile of your
breed on it.
Author unknown
Some Graphics Courtesy of GRRRfix
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